Over the past few weeks the media frenzy on several topics has been relentless. Having studied communications and enjoyed my stint in PR - I am always fascinated by the whole process. How the story breaks, when the subject decides to comment, how they comment - from the words to what vehicle. In some instances I have not just watched the experience - I have spoken out, I have chosen a side, I have “cast my vote” - I think it is human nature. You identify what you connect with, determine what you agree with, and you speak from whatever lens you are wearing in that moment.
As an example, if someone is talking about parenthood I could speak as the daughter, as an eldest child, as a Catholic, as an outsider, as someone who is considering parenthood - and each of these personas would present a slightly different opinion. Nothing is black and white, because humans are not simple creatures. We are complicated, we hold many different roles in our lives with a variety of characteristics. When it comes to opinions and positions, often whatever role we are currently focused is the version of ourselves with the loudest voice for that moment. And it is my experience the more time you spend on this earth, the more experiences you have, the more people you meet - your views, your thoughts, your commentary is constantly changing, because as humans we are constantly evolving.
As our social media feeds, evening news, newspaper headlines are consumed by Bruce Jenner’s transition or the Duggar’s hidden past - the moments to pass judgement are endless. There are no bones about it either, these stories touch ALL the hot button issues - religion, politics, race, class, children, sex, fame, money - you can literally comment on any aspect of this story and be making a loaded statement. Even as I write this post, I do have one message in mind - but I have to say, even with the message I hope to send here, I must confess, I too have judged. Some in my head, some in my heart, and some aloud. We are human and quick to share how we feel about the situation.
Interestingly enough I have been vocal related primarily to the Duggars. I have had a much more emotional reaction to their story. Is this because I too am a Christian and feel they are tainting that world? Is it jealousy for their strong faith - that maybe was not so strong and the weakness has been found? Perhaps it is their involvement in political movements that I too support, yet felt they sent a polarizing message? Or is it as silly as a dark shadow from my past has a personal connection to them? See what I mean - humans have nothing short of a million reasons for our emotions and thoughts that fill our mind. If we are not careful, those emotions get translated to words that exit through our mouths or through our key strokes.
This is not a political blog, my years in PR are long past, my ability to throw the first stone was GONE from the moment I was put on this earth - we are all sinners - so why bring this up? As these stories continue to swirl in front of us, as the media never sleeps and the conversations with “new developments” are constantly screaming for our attention - I wanted to take one moment, from my corner of the internet to stop the noise and hear some of what has actually been said. As I have previously shared here, my heart’s desire for compassion has become a reoccurring itch in the recent months, and these particular moments have tugged hard on my heart strings. The truth regarding both of these matters and how we react, is that nothing comes before how God has asked us to love one another and to not cast judgement.
In the interview Bruce Jenner had with Diane Sawyer there was a lot of insight provided, but I walked away with one distinct feeling - how truly wretched it must be to wake up and to have to deal with who you feel you are and who you are being asked to be. Every morning I wake up wondering about the day, my family, my to dos, my career, my finances, my goals, my dreams - and as someone who struggles with anxiety I have to sometimes stop myself and say “there is a whole day to just give my best” and STOP wondering what the day will hold. But never once in any of my worries is "who am I and who am I supposed to be” been part of the list. I am always a woman and I have been blessed by always being comfortable with that fact. In fact, I enjoy it. Its like when my husband gets up and can’t catch his breath - how could I have been wondering about my to do list and breathing like it ain’t no thing? There are certain realities in my life that I never even think about just benefit from, and yet to others those realities would be an incredible gift.
During the Duggar parents' interview something that stuck with me was a lesson I have been hearing most of my life: as the good shepherd, Jesus will leave the flock to search for that one sheep that has gone astray. God loves all of us and forgives all of us and when we are lost - no matter where - He is there looking for us. With this reference I was reminded that I did not have to understand their story, I did not have to pass judgement or weigh in on what they are deserved as a family or what Josh deserves as the perpetrator….. God deals with those sheep.
These two instances have simplified these complicated matters greatly. But as someone who calls themselves a Catholic, a Christian, a believer and follower of Christ -of God… these two realizations have translated to the only message that is meant for me in either instance- do not judge as you do not know their hearts (or pain, or fears, or humility etc.). And no matter what I may think - God did not give me the clip board to say who is on his team and who is not, who is right and who is wrong, who is allowed to be saved and who is not. There will never be a twist in these stories, or a new found piece of evidence that will change my role - love thy neighbor as thy self. Let God be their Father and I can be their sister who knows how painful it can be to just be a human.
