http://scrappingeverydaylife.blogspot.com/2014/01/happy-new-year-and-freebie.html
At the beginning of February, as a result of our January remix, I announced our goal of purposeful living for 2015. Today you get a feel for what that looks like with my review of January.
Now ideally each month will have a beginning, middle and end format - starting with announcing the goal at the start of the month. That is not going to happen for January and February. Good news here? I already have something I can work to improve - progress, NOT perfection!
Normally I will be introducing the focus for the month, how I want it to look and feel, what to dos I have planned, and my chosen reading and prayer programs to support this theme. For myself goals are not just about trying to achieve something - it is about stretching your mind - expanding you conscious as you grow and change within this goal. If you incorporate a way of thinking into your daily life, prayer life, to dos, reading - you will see direct implications and hopefully find a few nuggets of pure inspiration to carry with you after this goal is long gone.
January unfortunately I missed the chance to share with you my monthly desire and design, but I did have goals and found ways to live purposefully. So today I will be outlining January’s goal, how they played out, what worked, what did not work and what I am going to carry forward with me. Let’s go!
January was about being the Best Me. Each of us hold many roles in our life - for me this is wife, puppy mom, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, niece, cousin, friend, coworker, contractor, blogger, woman, 29 year old….the possibilities of this list truly are endless. As a pleaser I also find the desire to fill each one of these roles perfectly an endless task. In 2014 I had a lot of time that I was forced to reflect on me - my hopes, my dreams, my health and I realized that by not choosing how to be the best me in each circumstance, I was not the best at any role - and in a lot of ways, barely making the cut. So this month I wanted to really spend time on and clarify those roles that I want to focus on and how being the best me in those roles can change my life.
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What does the Best Me look like? First and foremost it was all about prioritizing where I need to be present. When I am with my husband or doing something for my little family - I need be focused on wife and puppy mom role. When I am at work I need to be focused on being present as an employee, team member, and presenting the person I want the world to know (every one of your emails is a reflection of you - yea, scary). When I am a friend I need to be in the moment and realize what I love about that person. Determine how I can help them be who they want to be - the best them! No matter what “being present” became the common requirement. So how do I become present was my mission.
To be present I need to have a clear mind, focused ears and carefully chosen words, thoughts and actions. To achieve this I need to not be wishing I had on different jeans or glancing at my watch wondering how much longer I can push it without being too late. I need to know what my day holds and I need to have quiet time to connect to my faith - the most present force I want for myself and for others when they interact with me.
First I set to work on perfecting my look. Now this sounds very shallow, and truthfully perhaps it is - but I found when I took the time to plan my outfit, when I experimented with my hair and make-up, when I entered a room calm and put together I was able to stop the inner voice saying “you should have worn” or “these pants are too tight, you are too fat, you need a diet,” or “what is she looking at”, “does he think I am ugly” and instead I stopped being defensive with Danny on totally unrelated matters - I was confident and could really talk with him. At work I focused on the meeting and getting the job done. With friends and family I was actually thinking about THEM and not me.
Secondly I worked on my calendar, email and to do list. If I kept a good calendar with a strong to do list and email system, and spent time on keeping these tools up to date I would know what I needed to accomplish each day/week/month. This helps my anxiety, helps my goals to move forward, and most importantly lets me know what I actually have time to do. If I need to visit with my mom I won’t just jump at the first chance I get, meet her and constantly be worried about what to do I left undone or staring at my phone sending myself reminders for later! Instead I will find a block of time I can give to her and not only be present, but have something to look forward to and bonus, I won’t delay that to do that really needs to be done!
Finally I worked really hard to make choices every day ALL DAY LONG. I know, we all make choices all day long - but I tried to concsiouly be aware that with every action, every word, every distraction I was chosing to do, say, distract and no longer be a victim to my anxiety or frustrations of “well it just happened”. Emotions exist - but you have a choice how to respond and utilize them. Time is never going to offer returns, but it does offer options in how to spend it. If I knew I was making choices, then I was able to design my world - even when the only choice is a lesser of two evils - it is still a choice.
So what to dos goes with this theme and these goals? At the start of the month the to dos were about organization, making my tools (calendar, email, phone, to do list) work of me, and setting up an environment that feeds focus and makes my priorities my actual areas of focus. Both Danny and I set out to enhance my worspace, enhance our to do list tools and check-ins, and better plan our chores and errands. We took the month of January to take stock and prepare for whole life purposeful living.
This month four books were chosen to help my theme and to dos:
A Mom’s Guide to Evernote, Laruen Rothlisberger
This book was written by one of my bestie's sister. Lauren is a proclaimed “Geek” (with a particular focus in Apple Products), with an impressive knowledge in tech tools, how to manage chaos (Army Wife and mother of 4 - very close in age), and with an entrepreneurial spirit. She always seems to have some sort of project going, kids doing fun things, and finds the time to workout! Evernote is her proclaimed secret weapon and keeps them paperless - just what I was looking to find in January!
Mastering Evernote for Your Life: Brandon & Tyler Collins
As you know I am not a mom - besides a puppy mom - so I also wanted to add in another point of view for Evernote. This book added a focus of work and professional uses so I included his book on my list.
Not That Kind of Girl: Lena Duham
Now this is an interesting addition. I LOVE the HBO series Girls. Both the show and Lena - the shows creator - are about as opposite of me as possible. Like two ends of the earth. In fact she often says conservatives are the type of people who want her silent. And I am a conservative in faith, politics, and life. However I have found her efforts to bring awareness and a voice to OCD, anxiety and other mentail illness incredibly inspiring. I find myself appreciating her messages on loving your body and learning to cope with emotions refreshing. She has made a lot of her dreams come true, but still openly admits to having to actively work on finding happiness. We are on opposing sides for many things - yet share a common bond in those specific areas….so while I figured out the best me, I wanted to read about her self discovery.
Wild: Cheryl Strayed
Finally this book was an addition thanks to my friends’ attempt at a book club. Not sure we are really going to follow through with that mission, but this story of a unique kind of self discovery really seemed to speak to my goals for this month. Life is full of things you can’t explain and are forced to just feel….no matter how long a journey of feeling is required.
In addition to my goals, themes, to dos and reads I also have a special prayer focus. For my best me and truly ALL aspects of my life I need to find the quiet time to be with my God and prayerfully pour over my concerns, questions, and those people around me. Quiet time - no matter what religion - is often mentioned as an important part of your day. It brings a sense of calm, comfort, and feeling centered. For me I like the added bonus of also checking in with God to assure I have him by my side for whatever life may bring. This month I followed the the 10 Virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman. It explores the beautiful duty of a woman with faith - no better way to find the Best Me!
Finally my blog goals for this month - BLOG! Get on a routine of posting, carving out time daily to work no the blog; reading, writing, planning! Find tools - calendar, notebook, Evernote - to help keep my blogging strong and a part of my daily life. In a jumbled mess of emotions (LINK) I shared my hopes and frustrations with my blog….and January I had really hoped to address these long standing feelings and help my blog take flight.
OK - so this post would be the sort of intro to the month. We are still new and this month was very lofty in terms of touching on many aspects of my world that the “Best Me” would influence. Others will most likely be a bit more straightforward and hopefully a bit more condensed. Following this first post would come a mid-month touch base and then a end of month wrap up to describe what has worked, what has not worked and what I am carrying forward with me. But January happened….so time to report now.
Well January was not what we expected and a lot of it was overshadowed by Danny’s health needs. That’s life and it can be messy. At times I got overwhelemd or frustrated at feeling like I can barely get to where I need to be - let alone be purposeful. However, in those moments I have stopped and said, what is making me distracted? What is complicating my life? In many instances it was Dan’s health or a family member’s needs - being the Best Me - is being with them. Yes, I may have not been organized for a few days, my email may have been upsurdly full and I may have missed a deadline….but I put my husband first and that is always the Best Me.
Also this month Danny and I came to the conclusion that it is time to move forward and get our own place. Now this initially sounds sort of self centered. “ I NEED MY OWN ROOM" - what am I - 5?? However Danny and I had started the discussion of really making a move in 2015. One month in of trying to be purposeful, meet some of our own goals, and focus on getting back to us - we discovered a strong need to have our own space. For my work and my blog - I need a corner of our home dedicated to that effort. Danny needs to have a place where he can set up camp and really have 100% health focus - without it being in our main living space. We were getting to a point of ready - and now we have been blessed enough to have a good mindset, and be patient for the right place…..which it sounds like we may have found!!! Stay tuned!
So those were two really positives….what about the negatives? Well I don’t read….that was a big one! I DO NOT READ! If someone would have said, do you like to read? Do you read? I would have said yes - of course! I do read….and I like to read….but I did not get through 1 book! Even with all that hospital time - YIKES! Alrighty then - something to work on! My desire to get a highly functioning to do and calendar focused is going OK, but not working at it all the time will remove any progress, and to get better requires even more focus. This is something I am still perfecting, but January did provide the necessary awareness and since then I am happy to report more progress has been made!
January has come and gone - and not quite the success record I had in mind. However just going through this exercise at the start of the month - being purposeful was at the top of mind, even when life was crazy!! I am pour of how January shaped up - I am excited that I will make an effort to pray and read more - and I am grateful it is only month 1 of 2015!
