Thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving this year was an especially big deal. Both my brothers were able to join us from Chicago and New York. Sadly for Christmas this year - that was not the case….so having this holiday be jam packed and FULL to the brim of family time from start to finish was especially important.

So let’s start right at the beginning - Wednesday. As you know, I have only been at my new role for about a month by Thanksgiving. Working just period is new, but I have the added bonus of also working with my dad. This has its own set of specific needs and delicate areas - but it is also is a really special blessing. It just so happens we had to ride into work together that day so when he closed the office early - we both were able to quickly get into the family mode and excitement for the holiday from the moment we walked out those office doors! And leave it to my dad to not only read my mind….but speak directly to my heart and tastebuds! He recommended we kick off the holiday with a Starbucks stop - his treat! Happy Thanksgiving indeed!

But I also have to acknowledge that it felt extra exciting to enter a holiday time, by leaving my job. My year in terms of work has been quite the challenge. Whether it be a role that was a terrible fit or just a tough team of coworkers or not working at all - it has been awhile since I was fulfilled at work. Leaving during a holiday time with nothing but fun ahead for a few days with those you really cherish, it is the few times in adult life I really remember what it feels like to be a kid on Christmas Eve again. So much excitement, so much possibility, so much fun waiting just around the corner - I LOVE that feeling. Having that feeling with the blessing of a new job and a ride home with my good ole Dad - I will remember that drive for long time. All is feeling very right in my little corner of the world- peace like that is special.

Some folks like to eat lightly leading up to Thanksgiving - the holiday centered around EATING…..but not the Heppes! My brother from Chicago is your definition of meat and potatoes……and with him being the first one home that had to travel, mom and dad did not disappoint!

We laughed and ate and laughed and drank and laughed that dinner. Betting what the next day will hold, re-reviewing the topics of politics and religion to not be shared with the BIG family gathering and we all felt that first sense of HOME.

Thursday started off with a bang…and a bag of bagels - AHHHHH! We got up, got rolling and started the cooking. I am not a cook (I believe we have covered this fact), so my official roll has been centered around appetizers. If you can melt cheese on a bread based item -I am usually pretty solid. Danny is our cook and it is very normal for him to be experimenting with some sort of side dish for Thanksgiving. But this year we are living with my parents and needed to share their kitchen - which happened to have 2 turkeys in the oven!! So Danny not wanting to be too much in the way and hoping to keep his health up enough to enjoy the full holiday weekend - we kept it simple and did basic stuffing. He was sweet enough when my mom was a little worried about enough sides to head to his parents after hockey on Tuesday night and also whip up his mom’s famous butternut squash.

The next to arrive was Kelly and Grant from New York! Travel can be crazy Wednesday, so they have turned Thanksgiving early morning travel into their tradition. Kelly joined us last year as her family is a little further away in Florida- and we were thrilled to see she decided come back again!! Thanks for hanging with us Kelly!

Also I do have to really hand it to Danny - when the crowds get F-U-L-L here with my mom’s family, sometimes he gets a little overwhelmed with all the conversations and just noise level in general. That can lead to nap times or a basement retreat, but this year every opportunity he needed a break he would head to the kitchen to clean or help put the finishing touches on my mom’s fruit and veggie turkeys. He was a trooper and I appreciate it! He was rewarded too as we needed someone to go to our family friend’s home and utilize their oven to do some final heating of food, let their puppy dog out (the sister to may parent’s dog actually :) ), and read between the lines - take a breather. Danny and I offered and Dan was rewarded with some quiet and down time….just what we needed. Plus I got to love on sweet Philly!

Upon our return, we all were gathering last minute food and wrapping up the family activity for this year. My uncle and cousin (Godson in fact….and I am pretty sure he is so awesome and loving and kind because of his incredible Godmother :) ) came up with a family reflection moment - each person picked a name from a hat and wrote a little letter or prayer or saying or something about the person they chose. You were to leave your note at your recipient’s place setting. This being a new activity it was a little hard….everyone was wondering if they should be funny or heartfelt or mushy…..but it all came together and the messages truly were fantastic. Having such a large family one on one is something that we don’t get a lot of - making this particular activity that much more valuable. You got a chance to quietly observe your chosen person and give them a personal sentiment. They all were messages of gratitude- funny or silly or short or long - but just full of appreciation for what that person brings to our family. It made you feel that truly accepted feeling as someone took a moment to recognize your personality, your interests, your struggles and celebrate you. I highly recommend this little exercise for anyone else wanting some reflection time on what your family members mean to you.

Finally we all sat down to eat. It felt a little crazy getting to this point and having helped a little extra with the food this year I was almost over food by the time I sat down….but no matter how I was feeling sitting next to my hubby and my sister, gazing up and down the table to these many people I call mine….it was beautiful. It has been a roller coaster of a year for many of us there, but another year and we are all still here and all still together. That counts for a whole lot in this life.

After dinner we commenced with my Uncle Sean being the family clown, my grandmother cracking us all up, some family Skype sessions and of course our family photo session. I can’t really begin to explain how this gets going or why we really do it….I don’t really even understand our picture categories myself…..but they do keep us all laughing and we did this round. So to share a few - with my personal favorite being “all the people here by choice” as in they married or are dating someone in this family and choose to be with us this holiday…..

Thanksgiving with the Flaherty’s was lovely and I am so glad we had such a good one since it will be a few years before we are back at the Heppes family home for Thanksgiving again (#MacysParade2015orbust).

Friday was time for the Heppes side. It was my grandfather’s 90th birthday and we had plans to meet up for lunch with the whole gang. We had to be there around 1PM and with everyone staying at my parents house we had to get organized about showers and mirror space and such….you would have thought we had planned for that the evening before but the food comas got to us first. Needless to say on Friday morning with all of us getting up slowly and then realizing we had a little over an hour to all shower and get over to my grandpa’s, suddenly it was 15 years ago. We were all bustling around fighting over showers, yelling about what to wear, who was going to ride with whom, what time we actually had to be there……between all the yelling and excitement I had to pause and laugh - suddenly we were the younger Heppes family all over again with everyone acting just as they did when we all lived under one roof:

Dad: The timely one who reminded all of us that we needed to get going and being the first one ready (per usual) was the one getting cars gassed up, picking up last minutes presents, and still yelling up the stairs to get a move on!

Mom: Trying to have two seconds to herself to get ready while also telling us all where we needed to be, what we should wear, reminding everyone to bring a jacket…….

Jackie: Trying to keep the peace and help everyone get ready while already being late and changing outfits and tell my sister she is not late and tell my brother to get moving! All while very concerned about having a good hair day.

Sawyer: Well, he was sleeping. Yup - he was sleeping through it all and we forgot to get him up. He is always my quiet brother just going on his own way and totally was overlooked……sorry Sawyer!!

Grant: Ready, with a cool look and able to go get Starbucks for everyone. Somehow he was all ready and out of the fray….I still never know how he is always done and looking so together first.

Katy: Poor Kate, we never told her what time, she was never told what to wear and feeling overwhelmed and tired from all the family stuff and no longer having her own space and just getting run over while we all try and help her, yet not helping at all.

Bridget: Jumped out of bed late, threw on the cutest outfit and put her hair up without a peep. All while looking at me and saying - don’t you think you should just get ready and forget about doing your hair so perfect and be on time?

Walker: Yes our family dog - I think he was on my wave length - watching this all going on and chuckling to himself that somehow through all these years….we all were still the same.

Well we were late and a little on everyone’s nerves (just to keep the theme of years gone by going) - but we made it. Lunch was good and my grandfather enjoyed his beer and pizza.

That evening everyone was sorta doing their own thing. Danny and I hung in - he was feeling pretty worn out and I too needed a night home in PJs with a movie - which Dad and Sawyer joined me for- perfectly quiet and perfectly content. Katy, Grant and Kelly headed into DC for a show, and Bridget went to see her friends (cool high schooler). It was a good night everyone going their own way and the house was pretty quiet. Saturday was to be our big last family night and everyone was gearing up…..

The original plan on Saturday was for all of us to go to mass together that evening, then dinner, then our favorite family game of cards. But please see above for how we all shared the shower and attempted to get to a place on time before….so mass did not work out. And quickly going out ended up with us just being at home, ordering Chinese and playing cards. And it was perfect. I know perfect gets used a lot here and in the blogosphere in general. In fact it is a common theme online - perfection that is not always really there. So I want to be clear here - it was perfect not because we stuck to our plan: my poor Dad and Mom had visions of a big family mass and then nice dinner out…..so those plans were totally trashed. It was perfect cause we all were just together and really enjoying laughing and drinking and eating and talking nonstop. Kelly and Danny fit right in and we all just had fun. I love my family and now that we are all not around as much it made this moment in time so memorable.

As we all have grown each of us have our styles, our own beliefs, our own relationships, our own jobs, our own roles we play to each other and for mom and dad. It is crazy to think that we all 5 grew up the same way with the same rules in the same schools and home, but could not be more different. In a lot of ways it has made for some bumpy holidays….but in the past year we all have made the commitment that we may not all like each other all the time….but we all LOVE each other. And we will be in each other’s lives no matter what. The older I get the more I hear about families that don’t speak (even Danny’s family has those that refuse to be with us) - and my family has made a promise, that will not be us - no matter how hard or awkward or whatever it may be……and I intend to keep that promise. This night we made really good on that promise.

Finally I know this post is several weeks late and already extremely long but there is one thing I have to note that I felt all Thanksgiving and really all holiday season long….. I am here, my loved ones are here and that is not true for everyone else. We had a loss this year that really shook Danny and I. It was a tragic situation that was completely unexpected. From this loss we gained a few key lessons: Life is a gift. It truly is and it is a choice to use it everyday. Those you love are a gift that you will not have forever. Sure, we hope for many years to come, but that is not always the case. We may have an empty seat in the coming years at the Thanksgiving table- so be sure to love and cherish everyone…… they are not promised to you. Anytime I thought this I said two prayers - one for our dear friends whose holiday had to be very hard and two of thanks - my life is so very far from perfect, but I have it. I have my husband and my family. I have my life and I am grateful.